The Bargain a what if  story
by Pixar
Summary: A bargain was made several years ago, but payment is now due.


Ben Cartwright wiped his brow smiling at his son, Jamie, who was herding the cows. He had turned into a first rate cowhand this last year. His other son's Adam and Hoss were working hard as usual. They had a hard spring but it looked like the money this year was going to be plentiful. Maybe the new hands Adam had hired would work out in the short period of time he planned to use them.

Gazing toward the pasture there was one young man that Ben found worth watching. The man had a natural grace that was absent in most cowhands. He was about the same age as his son Jamie, but he would be able to run rings around his son. He sat a horse like he had been born in the saddle and he had a swing mount that Jamie was practicing in private, to the amusement of his father.

"Joe!" He called and watched the young man walk toward him with a stride that met business.

"Yes, Mr. Cartwright?" The soft husky voice was pleasant to the ears. Making Ben wonder how many senorita's he had in his past.

"Joe, we are having a party tonight and I hope that you will attend. Some mighty pretty girls around here." Ben smiled.

"I would like that fine Mr. Cartwright. I can pack away quite a bit of food..." Joe paused as he looked toward the middle Cartwright son, "not quite as much as Hoss, though."

They laughed together as if they had a connection. 'Hoss, Joe here says he might take you eating tonight at the party!" Ben yelled to his son.

Hoss threw back his head and laughed heartily, "Joe, kid you don't have a chance!"

Adam's face dimpled as he smiled, " I don't know Hoss, the kid looks like he' needs a good meal...that might be enough."

'Nah...quit funnin'." They worked until six then scattered to get ready for the party that night. Hop Sing had been cooking all day for the party, which smelled like Heaven to Joe. He liked working on the Ponderosa, he hoped the boss kept him on for a while.

Joe had been drifting for the last several years. It had been hard growing up in an orphanage, but he had been dismissed when he turned sixteen to make his own way in the world. He found he had a knack for ranch work so had worked his way across Utah now into Nevada. He decided he was going to back to California, he wanted to see San Francisco's Barbary Coast.

At the party, Joe watched Adam waltz by with a beautiful girl on his arm. Every bit the owner's son. Things came very easily to the oldest Cartwright son. The women flocked toward Adam as if he was a magnet, making Joe smile at the thought. He was rich, well educated and seemed like a good boss.

Hoss was eating every bit and crumb at the food table. Joe eyes had widened when he saw Hoss' plate. He had been joking about out eating Hoss, no one would be able to do that. A big grin lit Joe's face as he saw Hoss take a huge bite of beef, that man was all muscle.

Jamie twirled by with a cute little Miss on his arm. Jamie was good natured, didn't look like either of his brothers, but he was the apple of his father's eye. That red hair stood out like a beacon, they would never lose him in a crowd. All the boys stood alone in looks, they must all take after their mother's, Joe decided.

Joe raised his glass of beer looking at the cook. Hop Sing was a favorite of the Cartwright's, but so far the man hadn't warmed up to him. Joe felt like the cook just didn't like him. Looking around the room, he decided to see if the pretty blonde that had just swirled by with Andy, would dance with him. This was too good a night to waste.

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Jamie leaned against the corral watching Joe break another horse. Everything he did seemed so effortless. _Why couldn't he be more like Joe? _He had noticed his father watching Joe all the time, as if he couldn't take his eyes from him. Really, it was all rather strange. He had never seen his Pa act like that before.

"Adam, you like Joe?"

Adam turned his head giving his little brother a quick look then watched Joe on the wild horse. "Sure, what's not to like?" A thought passed quickly through Adam's mind..."Don't you like him?"

"Sure, yeah." The reply was hardly a great response. "It's just...oh, I don't know." Jamie ducked his head hiding his face, "Pa sure seems to like him a lot."

Adam bit his lip it sounded like the little green monster had settled into his baby brother. "Oh...I think Pa thinks he has lots of moxie."

"Yeah...he sure seems good at everything he does. This is fifth horse to break this week...he rode out with Pa this morning to check the lower pasture. Pa usually goes out there alone."

Adam nodded his head, his father was showing a decided preference for the new hand. He hadn't paid any attention to it, but now with Jaime's comment, it was not his Pa's usual behavior. Maybe Joe did bear watching. Maybe Joe was playing up to the boss to get something out of it.

"Don't worry about it. Come on, you can ride into town with me." Adam put his arm around his younger brother giving him a quick hug, but Jamie pushed him away. "Jamie, I hope you're not going to give Pa a reason to speak to you."

"Nah..." Jamie walked away like he had lost his last friend. Adam strode toward his father who had been leaning on the corral bars. "Hey Pa, I think I will go into town for a while."

Ben didn't say anything his attention totally on Joe. _That boy sure could ride. _

"Pa?" Adam said more firmly, finally shaking his father's arm.

"Oh...Adam. Sorry, I was thinking about the lower pasture. Joe had a few good ideas about grazing it."

"Joe? He is a man of many faces." Adam said with a touch of sarcasm.

"What?" Ben shook his head, sometimes Adam's education became a nuisance.

"Nothing. I said I'm going to town but I'll be back for supper." Adam rode away deciding he just might pay Roy Coffee a visit. It wouldn't hurt to check up on the new ranch hand.

Joe went flying off the horse, hitting the ground hard. "Ouch!" Getting up he dusted himself off, but smiled at the men. "I'm okay!" He limped to the corral seeing Ben standing alone. "Sorry, Mr. Cartwright, I guess that didn't work out very well." Joe laughed into Ben's eyes that had never wavered from him. It was starting to bother him...it seemed like Mr. Cartwright had decided to take him under his wing. _He wasn't cutout for hand holdin'._

Ben smiled, "enough for today. I imagine you're plenty sore from all the spills this week." They walked back toward the house stopping at the bunkhouse.

"I haven't been very graceful that's for sure. Goodnight, sir." Joe opened the door to the bunkhouse, longing for his bunk. He was tired but happy. His job at the ranch had worked out better than he had thought. _This was a nice setup and just maybe it would be a snug little home for the winter._

"Oh..Joe? How about eating with us tonight?" Ben asked. "About eight o'clock."

"Sure...it sure beats Cookie's cookin'." Joe fell onto the bunk into a sound sleep in minutes...he could sleep anywhere at any time.

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That night at dinner Joe tried to keep his hands quiet while he was passing the food. He felt nervous but he wasn't sure why. Everyone was pleasant to him, but Adam and Jamie kept giving him sideways looks. Oh, he knew those looks well, every time someone had wanted to move him on, he had felt a tension in the atmosphere. Ben and Hoss though were perfectly fine, so maybe he was imagining it.

"So, Joe, tell us a little about yourself." Adam remarked with a small smile.

"Not much to tell, I'm from San Francisco...I guess." At the look of surprise on everyone's face, Joe continued. "I was in an orphanage from ten years old. Before that I have no memory of my life."

Adam hesitated then prompted, "no memory before ten. That's unusual isn't it?" Adam tried to tell if Joe was telling the truth.

"Yes...they tell me that I was brought to the City hospital one night unconscious. I had a concussion and when I awoke I had no memory of who I was or where I had been living." Even the memory of the ordeal made Joe's voice quiver.

Ben frowned thinking of the young man at the mercy of the City hospitals. "Joe, that must have been very difficult for you." The sympathy of Ben's voice made Joe look at him intently.

"Yes. I was hauled away to the orphanage where life was very unpleasant. Truthfully, I was glad to be tossed out at sixteen." The meal resumed but Joe noticed Hop Sing looking strangely at him from the kitchen door.

"Pa, Jamie's birthday is comin' up soon. We invited the town?" Hoss smiled at his little brother who always had a big party.

"I thought we would invite all Jamie's friends...and maybe the town." Ben laughed looking at Jamie's red face, seeing the freckles standing out on his cheeks.

"How old are you going to be, Jamie?" Joe asked curiously. He had never quite decided on the boy's age.

"Eighteen on Nov.1st." Joe was definitely surprised, Jamie had seemed so much younger than him. Of course, Jamie had lived the life of luxury compared to his situation.

"That's close to my birthday. At least the birthday they gave me at the hospital. It was Oct. 31st when I was taken to the hospital that night." The sound of a loud pan dropping drew the attention of everyone at the table.

"Hop Sing, are you all right?" Ben called to the cook.

"Very sarry, very sarry, Hop Sing had clumsy fingers." Hop Sing bowed going back to the kitchen.

After dinner Joe sat playing checkers with Hoss, handily beating him quickly. "Joe, you're to good for me."  
Joe smirked as he had cheated just a tiny bit. It was always fun to cheat with friends, it was usually very funny, but he should tone it down with the boss's family. Adam had been watching him closely making him feel uncomfortable.

"How about a game of chess, Joe?" Ben asked him. Joe nodded his head setting up the chess board. They were evenly matched by half the game. He really liked old man Cartwright. "Sir, I was going to check the herd tomorrow is there anything I should be looking for?"

"I was hoping you would go to town with me instead." Ben remarked not seeing Adam and Jamie looking at each other. " I want to introduce you to Roy Coffee, our sheriff. He's a special friend of mine...also Paul Martin, our doctor."

"Sounds great to me. I have been wanting to explore Virginia City. I hear the Silver Nugget and the Bucket of Blood saloons are pretty famous." Joe moved a pawn on the board.

"Not really much to look at but we'll stop there for a beer. " The game soon broke up with Ben Cartwright winning the game. Adam wasn't sure if Joe let his father win...or if Joe honestly lost. Joe soon excused himself and the house settled down with Hoss and Jamie going to bed.

"Pa, I saw Roy Coffee today."

"Oh...how was he? Anything going on in town?"

"No..." Adam wanted to say he had asked Roy to check into Joe Smith's background, but he wasn't sure why he had even asked Roy for the favor.

"Pa, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, son."

"Why do you like Joe so much? You seem to have a strong affection for him."

Ben Cartwright looked into the distant past..."he seems so familiar to me. It's like I should know him, Adam. I know that sounds strange but he reminds of me of..."

"Who Pa?" Adam asked curiously.

"Marie." As Adam's eyes widened he continued. 'I know how strange that sounds, but doesn't he have the look of your step mother?"

Adam tried to remember back in the past to the features of his stepmother's. Yes, Joe had the same eye color and he was not a large man. Of course, there were a hundred men that description fit. "Maybe a slight resemblance."

"When your little brother was born...I was so surprised he didn't' look like his Mother. Both, you and Hoss, look like your Mother's. Jamie on the other hand doesn't look like me or Marie."

"He must take after Marie's father or uncles."

"Yes, that is what Marie always said."

"Jamie's red hair is very distinctive. But, it's really quite nice when you get used to it." Adam grinned.

"Yes, he's a good boy." They said good night. Ben blew out the candles letting the room darken. Pulling back the curtain on the front window he stared out toward the bunkhouse.

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The trip to town was a joy Ben had not experienced in a long time. It seemed like Joe had a lot of zest for life. He was quick to understand what Ben was explaining and eager to try his hand at anything suggested. Joe rode his horse as if a part of it. It was a beautiful paint that Ben would have loved to own.

"Joe, your horse is a beauty. Have you had him long?"

"A year or so. To tell you the truth it was a gift...a special gift from an Indian chief." Joe's mind drifted back a year ago as he was crossing Utah, "I had just crossed over into Utah when I ran across a small Indian boy in the middle of nowhere. The child was wild but he tagged along behind me for miles. I knew not to spook him with attention. " Joe could still remember the child's ribs sticking out from hunger. "I kept leaving tidbits of food out knowing the child was eating them as soon as I was out of sight. Then one night the child crept closer to my campfire, finally coming into camp. I sat out a plate of food close to the fire. He jumped on it, gobbling it down, probably burning his mouth with the hot food."

"Joe, that was very good of you. You have a deep understanding of people." Ben couldn't help but interrupt the tale..

"Well, he fell asleep and I covered him with a blanket, the next morning I saddled my horse, held out my hand to him, he climbed up behind me and we were on an adventure for the next month." Joe shook his head coming out of the memory. "He was so small and cute..." Joe smiled appeared as he remembered the child. "About half way across Utah an Indian raiding party caught up with us, I thought I was going to die..."

"And..." Ben leaned toward the young man caught in his tale.

"The child was the chief's son...and I was given this paint horse as a gift for saving his life." As Joe patted Cochise' neck, Ben could see the love in the gesture.

"An amazing story." They traveled along with only a few more words but soon arrived in Virginia City. Joe marveled at the town. It wasn't large but it seemed to have all the necessary stores. Several large banks, hotels, cafe's, livery stables...he was surprised how busy the town seemed to be.

"I thought it would be less somehow."

"It has become a very rich community for many. The silver mines are making lots of money...there are millionaires made here overnight. Have you thought of working the mines?"

"No...I don't like going underground...give me the wide open spaces. " They pulled the horses to a halt in front of the Sheriff's office.

"I want you to meet Roy Coffee our sheriff. He's one of the finest men I have ever met." Joe nodded but thought this was a strange request. Entering the jail they found Roy behind his desk doing paperwork. "Good morning, Roy, I would like you to meet a new ranch hand that's working for us."

"Hello, there, young fella." Roy stood up shaking Joe's hand. "You have found the best man to work for in these parts."

"Thank you. " Joe gripped the sheriff's hand firmly. "I'm Joe Smith." At the sound of the name Roy dropped his eyes remembering the talk he had with Adam the day before.

"Nice ta to meet ya." A few more minutes were spent in conversation then Ben and Joe strolled down the street, running into people that Mr. Cartwright knew every couple of steps. Joe was always introduced with a firm hand on his back or a slap of goodwill. Joe learned that Ben Cartwright was a force to be dealt with. He was highly respected and being in his company made Joe feel ten feet tall.

"Joe, I have some banking business but I'll meet you at the International Hotel for lunch about noon." Ben patted Joe's shoulder as if he was his son. "Don't be late." Joe smiled but he wanted to check out a few places on his on while his benefactor was busy.

Joe rubbed shoulders with all sorts of men. Miners, ranchers, townspeople, Chinese...he stopped as he heard one man say to the other that the laundry was doing a good business...the strange part they were speaking in Chinese and he understood it. Joe stopped in awe...he had never been around the Chinese...so how had that happened?

Entering the Bucket of Blood saloon he noticed the large mirror over the long bar. "A beer please." He took a long swallow, the beer flowing freely down his throat. A few pretty saloon girls were out of bed early, hoping for fresh money.

"Hello, sweetie, want to buy me a drink?" A prettily little redhead smiled up into his eyes...with a look that read...money.

"Sorry, but I'm only having one beer, I have to meet someone for lunch."

"I'm better than any other company you'll find." The young woman flirted. This young guy was handsome...she wanted to stay in his company, even without the money.

"My boss might have something to say to that." They conversed a while but Joe kept his eye on the clock, not wanting to make Ben Cartwright disappointed in him, which was unusual when he thought about it. He had grown to admire the Cartwright's very quickly. "Excuse me. I'll look you up later, Sally." Joe strode down the street looking for the hotel finally finding it. The restaurant was right inside the main area. Ben Cartwright was sitting at a table talking to a tall distinguished gray haired man. "Here Joe!" Joe hurried forward holding out his hand to shake the man's hand. "This is Paul Martin, the best doctor in Nevada."

"Pleased to meet you." Joe sat down taking his hat off, his hair springing to life. The doctor looked into Joe's eyes and caught his breath...how strangely familiar the young man seemed to him. Ben's quick eyes also noticed the doctors' reaction. He would find time to speak to him alone before they left town.

Ben sent Joe for the horses after lunch. "So, Paul, what do you think of Joe? He seems to be a good kid."

Paul Martin looked at his friend surprised he was taking the time to introduce a ranch hand to everyone he knew. "He seems fine." Paul said diplomatically.

"I noticed you gave him a strange look...like you recognized him when you met."

"No...not really. There is something about him but I'm not sure. A old memory or something." Paul was trying to remember but he didn't want to act like it was important. Why he felt this way he wasn't sure, but as soon as Paul had met Joe, he knew that face.

Ben nodded his head he knew just how Paul felt. "I guess I have work to do, come out to the house for dinner Saturday night." They shook hands as they parted, Ben to ride home with Joe and Paul to return to work. As Paul entered his office he went to an old safe in the corner opening the door, pulling out some dusty documents.

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Ben and Joe soon left town talking about Virginia City, when a shot rang out, causing Joe to dive off his horse over Ben's, taking the big man with him. They rolled several feet while the dirt flew high in the air from bullets. Joe dragged Ben behind a large rock, drawing his gun. "Are you okay?"

"Yes." Ben pulled his gun waiting for the next shot to gauge how far away the shooter stood.

Silence filled the air. "I think he's gone." Joe was nervous about standing up, making himself a target. As Ben started to stand Joe yanked on him dragging him back down, as a shot flew over their heads. "Don't get up!" Joe fired several shots when he heard someone yell. A man ran out of cover jumping on his horse taking off. "He's gone."

"I wonder what that was about. " Ben wiped off his forehead with his handkerchief, putting his hat back on his head. "Someone after you?" The glare of the hot sun beat down on their heads.

"Me? I thought it was you." Joe grinned at the look of anger crossing Ben's face. "Hey, I don't have any enemies." Joe dusted his hat on his pants then put it on, whistling for Cochise. His horse walked toward him with a slow gait. "Come on, slowpoke. Looks like Buck as taken off for home. You ride my horse and I'll walk beside you."

"Don't be silly. I'll get on behind you." Joe swung mounted onto the horse then held his hand down for Ben to climb on behind him.

"I can change places with you, it would be more comfortable."

"Let's get going," Joe kicked Cochise in the side as they rode slowly home, both lost in their own thoughts. Each one wondering if there was someone that wanted to kill them. They were nearly home when Adam and Hoss rode toward them at a fast pace with Buck in tow.

"Pa, are you all right?" Hoss was looking his father over carefully. " We thought you would be home a lot earlier. What happened?"

"Oh...nothing. We'll talk about it at home." The four men rode home each with their own thoughts. The two older sons thankful their father was fine...and Ben and Joe taking quick looks over their shoulders.

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That night the Cartwright's sat around the fireplace discussing the shooter. They couldn't remember anyone with a grudge to kill them. "Pa, I hate to say this but it must have been Joe Smith the man wanted to kill. "

"I don't think so. Joe was really surprised that we were shot at. He saved my life today."

"I'm sure happy about that, Pa. He was sure on his toes." Hoss remarked to cover Adam's silence.

"Pa...maybe we should get rid of Joe." Jamie spoke up in the quiet room, biting his lip. 'I mean, Joe is nice and all but I don't want anyone to get shot because of him." Jamie had listened to the outcome of the fight, he could have lost his father today, because he was with some ranch hand that had enemies. He wanted to get rid of Joe in the worst way.

Adam tried to judge his father's reactions but Ben had his eyes down. 'I think Jamie might be right. I'm sure Joe will understand that." Adam could tell that Ben really wasn't listening to him.

"I don't understand either one of you. He saved me today..." Ben looked at his children wondering why they would throw away a young man with such sterling qualities. "Aren't I worth it?"

"Pa!" Adam got up to stoke the fire. "It's not that. I just don't want trouble...Jaime or Hoss could be shot at next, I don't' think you want that."

"No. But, I've decided what to do. Hop Sing!"

"Yes, Mr. Cartwright?" Hop Sing had been listening to the conversation in the kitchen.

"Ask Joe Smith to come to the house." Hop Sing bowed hurrying away to carry out his employer's bidding. _He didn't want that young man in the house. It was causing too many problems_. " Joe Smith, Mr .Cartwright want you." Joe stood up following the cook across the yard toward the front door, but stopped then said haltingly, " can you speak Chinese to me?" Joe used very poor form but enough that Hop Sing understood him. Hop Sing blanched in fright.

"Not understand you." Hop Sing practically ran into the side kitchen door leaving Joe alone in the yard. Joe wondered if he had said the words wrong, but they had somehow felt right. "Mr. Cartwright?"

"Come in, Joe. We were just having a conversation about today's gunfight." Ben motioned for Joe to take a seat on the settee beside his youngest son, Jamie. "I want you to know how grateful we are that you saved my life today. Isn't that right boys?"

They shook their heads yes, but Hoss got up and offered his hand to Joe. "Thanks Joseph." Hoss shook Joe's hand strongly, deeply meaning it.

"Thank you, Mr. Cartwright, but I figure it was a pretty even match." It wasn't a surprise to see Adam and Jaime looking at each other excluding him. "I guess you want me to leave now. I don't think anyone would be taking potshots at you. So, I guess someone has a grudge against me I didn't know about." Joe stood up to leave the room when he felt Ben's large hand on his shoulder.

"Joe, I want you to move into the house with us. We have an extra room that can be yours. What do you say, son?" Ben looked quietly into the green eyes that had widened with his question.

"But...are you sure?" Joe looked toward Hoss who had a large smile all over his face then toward the two quiet members of the room. "I mean...thank you." Joe turned his head as his eyes filled with tears, he was so unused to people being kind to him.

Ben pulled Joe forward giving him a quick hug. "Yes, we are. Hoss, how about taking Joe to his new room."

"Be glad to Pa." The two men went upstairs as silence still reigned supreme downstairs.

"I'll not hear another word about it. Both of you make up your mind to Joe Smith living here. He's going to be a new member of this family." Ben felt the words were right even though he didn't understand them himself. Ben climbed the steps to join Hoss and Joe while Adam and Jaime sat talking quietly together. "This isn't right Adam. Pa is acting like a ..." Jamie hesitated on saying the word.

Adam said quietly, " let's take this conversation outside."

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The week passed quickly, early to work then home late. Joe discovered that Hop Sing was the best cook in Nevada. His appetite had bloomed eating all the good food at the ranch. He had tried several times to speak to Hop Sing but it was plain that the cook didn't like him. Joe tried to remain upbeat and cheerful, you couldn't please everyone.

Joe's and Jaime's birthday was coming up soon. Of course the party was for Jamie but Joe could daydream of what a party would be like. He had never had a birthday party in his life or presents. Adam and Jaime remained distant to him but they were civil. _Their father must have had words with the two sons because they never even hinted that he should leave the Ponderosa_.

Joe loved the word, Ponderosa. It was a grand name very fitting for a beautiful ranch. The tall pines stretched to the Heavens and Joe loved sitting out at night, listening to the wind in the trees. This was a piece of Heaven just like Mr. Cartwright said. Lake Tahoe with it's deep blue water was very clear and just right to take a bath in the lake. Joe loved swimming and would dive deep from the rocks. The other men told him he was crazy to dive like that, but he loved the cold water running over his body.

Paul Martin was expected for supper that night. He liked the older man but was afraid of doctors. Joe laughed just thinking about how a needle scared him. His time in the hospital had forever cured him of liking the medical profession.

The men sat around the dinner table making small talk. "Joe, tell me a little about yourself." The doctor said softly, watching the young man carefully. Joe was a very personal young man. The doctor could almost feel his energy across the table.

'Not much to tell. I'm from San Francisco and this is my first trip out of the state. Been traveling now for almost two years." Joe smiled his trademark smile that he kept for company.

"That must have been very interesting. So, Ben said that you had a concussion when you were about ten years old. It's strange that you never remembered anything."

"Is it ? The doctors said I might remember someday if my mind was triggered by a memory. But, I guess it's not going to be." Joe smiled at the men, twisting in his chair to see Hop Sing's reaction. The cook was hiding inside the kitchen, but Joe could see the tip of his feet at the doorway. Joe coughed then said quickly, " 我知道您聽着，蛇麻草唱歌？ 為什麼？ 怎么回事？

Hop Sing stood in the doorway staring at Joe. Everyone in the room turned toward Hop Sing who was too frozen to move.

"Joe, I didn't know you spoke Chinese!" Ben said sharply.

"Yes...it' seems I do. I didn't know I did until I moved to Virginia City then hearing the Chinese speak must have triggered it." Joe couldn't take his eyes from the Oriental man.

Adam murmured, "What did you say?"

"Oh, just a hello to Hop Sing." Joe bowed deeply to the cook. Almost automatically Hop Sing returned the bow, backing away.

"Joe, you sure are a card!" Hoss said admiringly.

Paul Martin shut his eyes...looking down not seeing Adam watching him. He fiddled with his fork then said quietly..."You must have learned Chinese as a child to speak it so...quickly."

"Yes...that is the only explanation isn't it?" Joe marveled that he was holding it all together as a piece of his past entered his mind. A room full of Chinese men talking and laughing then a scream that echoed through his mind. Joe stood, throwing his napkin onto his plate..."I'm sorry, I need to go outside a minute." Joe rushed out of the door, unable to stay still.

Ben stood up hurrying to the door, "Please Paul, I'll be right back."

Paul nodded his head his worse fear realized. There was only one explanation that he could conceive. "Adam..."Paul coughed, "Tell me about the birthday plans for Jamie."

"What?" Adam's attention had been drawn to the wide open door which his father had left open.

"Adam, Paul is asking you a question." Hoss spoke to break the tension.

"I'm sorry." Adam resumed the conversation but would have loved to hear what was going on outside.

"Joe! Joe, wait!" Ben grabbed Joe's shoulder stopping the young man from running. " Your all right, let it go!" Ben pulled Joe into his arms, hanging onto him tightly. "Did you remember something? "

'Yes...Joe clung to Ben as if he was his lifeline. "I remember a room full of Chinese men laughing...then a scream...I don't know who is screaming but I think... it's me."

"Joe..." Ben held him close but could feel Joe's heart beating wildly against him. "You'll be all right...you're safe here with me." They stood for several minutes before Joe broke away, rubbing the tears from his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry to break up your dinner."

"Joe, you are more important than any dinner. Why don't you go lie down. Would you like Dr. Martin to come up and see you?"

"No...not tonight." Joe gathered his courage before entering the great room, running to the steps taking them two at a time.

Everyone at the table had stopped talking, as Ben made his way to the table. "Excuse me. Joe will be fine. What are you discussing?"

Joe threw himself down on the bed, the tears again running down his face. _Was he going crazy? This couldn't be happening. Those men were laughing in his memory and Hop Sing was one of them._

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Joe was getting nervous about working at the Ponderosa. Too many strange occurrences had started to add up to an unpleasant experience during his childhood. He knew that it was Hop Sing in his memory, he was so positive that he tried again to speak to Hop Sing but the man had many errands to run, or he was too busy to speak him. He couldn't pin the Oriental man down long enough.

Ben Cartwright's attitude had changed. It was if he was turning into a father figure, causing Joe to wonder if there was something else going on he didn't understand. _Ben had three son's that were his main reason for living, what did Ben Cartwright see in him, that made the man want to include him ?_

The trip to town that Saturday with the ranch hands was a relief. Joe wanted a night alone from the Cartwright's. Having a beer with the men he decided a poker game was the right time to make some money to leave. He had played several hands when he noticed the Sheriff, Roy Coffee, was standing by the bar, making Joe feel as if he was being watched. _Could he never escape the Cartwright's? _

Jamie entered the Bucket of Blood with his heart pounding. He seldom came to the saloons alone without his brothers. To his father he was the baby of the family to be kept safe. His mother Marie had died young from a fall from a horse, making Ben almost afraid that he would lose her child.

Jamie noticed Joe in a poker game with a saloon girl hovering over him. _Why did women did seem drawn to him? Besides being good looking the men seemed to like being in Joe's company. Why couldn't he be more like Joe? _Several men nodded their heads at him but no one joined him from the ranch.

"Jamie, where's your Pa?"

"Hello, Roy. Pa's at home."

"Well, don't get into trouble, I'd hate to run you in." Roy laughed with the youngest Cartwright.

"Sure, Roy." Jamie sipped his drink deciding to take the plunge. Drawing himself up he walked to Joe's table. "Mine if I take a hand?" The men looked at each other but Joe nodded to a chair.

"Sure, sit down. Of course, you are going to lose your money." Joe joked with him, trying to put Jamie at ease. The game resumed and for a hour Jamie lost every hand. Finally, Joe decided to take pity on him. "Look, Jaime,I think I'll head back to the ranch, you want to ride with me?"

"Sure, I'm ready." They walked out of the saloon to a perfect star studded night with a full moon riding high in the sky. Mounting his horse, Joe almost laughed aloud to see Jamie swing mount ungracefully onto his horse. _The kid almost had it. _They were quiet for a while when Joe thought maybe he could he get information from Jamie. "Tell me about Hop Sing, Jamie."

'What? Oh, nothing to tell. He's been with the family before I was born. In fact he helped deliver me."

"Really. A long time to keep a hand."

"Oh, Hop Sing is more than a hand, he's part of the family. My mother was home alone that night, so Hop Sing delivered me himself. My mother was very fond of him."

"That was lucky for your mother. Did he ever live in San Francisco?"

"I know that he has tons of relatives there. He visits all the time...always taking care of them...sometimes for months at a time."

Joe nodded his head. _He knew it! It had been Hop Sing in that memory!_ "What about eight years ago? Do you remember him being in San Francisco then?"

Jamie frowned at these questions, why would Joe care? "What do you want?"

"Look, Jaime, bits and pieces of my memory are returning and Hop Sing is in them. I see him surrounded by Chinese men at a party or something. I must have been about ten years old, it must have happened before I went to the orphanage."

"But that's impossible. I mean..."

"Think back...do you remember Hop Sing being in San Francisco about eight years ago?"

Jamie remembered his tenth birthday very well. Usually they had a large party at the ranch but Hop Sing was gone...he didn't remember why. So, they had the party in town at the International Hotel. "Yes...he was gone from home. Pa was exasperated that he would pick that time since we usually had a party for my birthday's. But why wouldn't Hop Sing say he saw you at a gathering of some kind, what difference would that make?'

"I don't know...I can't remember." Joe stopped Cochise. "Look, would you help me find out some answers to my questions? Could you ask your brothers for information without telling them why?"

Jamie didn't understand any of this. _He wanted Joe gone, not taking up residence at the house. But maybe if Joe found out want he wanted to know, he would leave the Ponderosa forever. Then he would have all his father's attention back again. _"All right, I'll ask Adam."

Joe started to answer when a shot rang out of the darkness. Joe's heart started pounding, not again! "Jamie let's go!" The two boys rode quickly hoping to out distance the shooter. They could hear a horse behind them being ridden hard. "Keep going!" As soon as Joe passed the rocks, he dove off of his horse, rolling behind the rock to take up a position to trap the shooter. He could hear Jamie riding away then he saw a horse come into view...he took aim and fired his gun! The man swayed in the saddle, but stayed on his horse, which shied away from the noise. The man rode back toward Virginia City. Joe called Cochise, mounted, following the man as fast as he could. As he entered town, he rode up and down the streets but their were too many people milling around at that time of night. He'd lost him.

Jamie rode the horse into the yard, jumping off, running to the house. "Pa! Pa!" Jamie threw the door open rushing inside. "Pa, that shooter is back...he was taking potshots at Joe and I on the road!" Ben gathered Jamie to him, holding him close.

"Where' Joe? Putting the horses away?"

"NO, I left him." Jamie stuttered his answer.

"What!" Ben grabbed his guns heading out the door with Adam and Hoss behind him. Jamie sat down on the settee wiping the tears from his face.

"Jamie, you all right?" Hop Sing stood hovering over him. 'What happened ?"

Jaime told Hop Sing that the shooter had returned noticing the cook was wringing his hands. "Hop Sing, tell me about Joe. Joe says he knows you from a long time ago. Who is Joe?"

Hop Sing's breath caught in his throat, _this couldn't be happening, all of his careful planning was being destroyed. Now Joe might have died tonight!_ "You need a drink, I get." Hop Sing turned back into the perfect servant, not answering any questions.

Jamie sat as if turned to stone. _He had left Joe to his fate...he had ran away like a coward._

_cccccccc_

Jamie sat in sullen silence thinking about his family's apparent happiness that Joe had survived the attack earlier that evening. He was glad that Joe was still alive but as he watched his family fawn all over him, he wished that Joe would just leave the ranch. _Why couldn't they see that Joe was nothing but trouble? _

"Joe, tomorrow we'll go back to town and see if Roy has any information on the shooter. He will probably need a doctor and Paul is the best one around." Ben had been thinking how easy it was too lose someone you had grown to love..._or maybe that was too strong a word...after all Joe was just a ranch hand...not a member of his family...but he felt like family. _

"Look, Mr. Cartwright, I think I should leave the ranch. I'm putting everyone in danger here. Jamie could have been shot just being with me. I can't expect all of you to die for me." Joe had to leave he knew that now was the time. "I will try to find the man but I will be staying in Virginia City."

"Joe, we don't want you to leave here. You are safer here than alone." Ben tried to convince the young man.

"No. I'm tired." Joe stood up looking across the room to Jamie who had sat quietly. "I hope I will still be welcome to come to the party."

"Of course you will." Ben's voice boomed across the room making Jamie wince. "Saturday night we will have a place set for you." Ben rose from his chair, putting a hand on Joe's shoulder. "Thank you for saving my son tonight."

"Goodnight, Mr. Cartwright." Joe made his way up the stairs, tomorrow would be a long day. At least now Jamie would be happy. The Cartwright's were bigger than life type people, at least three of them were. Jamie really didn't fit into the family very well.

"Jamie, tomorrow before Joe leaves I want you to thank him for saving your life, young man. We never run out on our ranch hands that are defending us, do you understand me?" Ben couldn't help being disappointed that his son had run away from a fight.

"Pa! It all happened so fast that Jamie didn't' have time to make a decision." Adam defended his little brother. "I don't believe that was fair."

"Joe is probably going to be killed out on his own. Try thinking about that." Ben strode off in a temper to go to bed...somehow he would protect Joe from the killer.

"It's no use, Adam. Pa is never going to forgive me for running away. Cartwright's are braver than that." Jamie wiped the tears from his eyes. "Good night."

Adam and Hoss sat back down trying to piece the attack together. "The man must have been watching Joe in Virginia City. Roy might have noticed someone new to town."

"Yes, if this person wants Joe dead so quickly, he will be making all sorts of mistakes." They talked for a few minutes more than went to bed. The only person still awake sat in the kitchen wondering what he should do. _It was so horrible...he had to tried to make everything right...but now...he could not tell the truth...or lie. Joe's life was at stake...but so was Jamie's. _

Joe rode into town the next morning early. He had not even stayed for breakfast. He wanted to avoid the China man. He knew that Hop Sing knew what was going on but he would probably never tell him the truth. Checking into the hotel he got a room on the second floor, he sure didn't want anyone climbing in his window at night. He pulled back the curtain looking out on the hot dusty road. _Who wanted him dead? And more importantly why? _

Joe soon found himself in the bar, pretending to be just drinking a beer, but really studying everyone around him. It didn't seem like anyone was paying attention to him. "Well, Joe Smith, it's look like someone doesn't like you."

Joe turned to Roy Coffee and smiled. "You might say that. Being hunted is not pleasant. Have you checked with the doctor?"

"He hasn't seen any gunshot victims if that is what you were hoping for." Roy scanned the room, it looked peaceful but you never knew if someone was going to start shootin' or not. "Look, why don't you just leave town. The Cartwright's are good friends of mine and I don't like seein' them in danger."

"I'm expendable, right?" Joe smiled then drank the rest of his beer. "I have to stay for Jamie's party, then maybe I will be on my way...that is after I have a long talk with a certain China man. "

"What china man? What are you talkin' about?"

"Hop Sing. He knows something about me as a child and I mean to find out."

Roy wondered if he should head toward the ranch, maybe a talk with Hop Sing was in order. "What could he know?"

"Maybe why I ended up in an orphanage." Joe threw a dollar on the bar striding out into the street a target for any killer in town.

Saturday dawned with a clear blue sky. The party that night was the only thing on most people's mind in Virginia City. The citizens were excited about attending a party on the Ponderosa. There would be a barbeque and a dance for sure. Hop Sing's fabled food would be enough to get most people there. But it was usually an honor to be invited to the Cartwright home for a party.

Joe went to the mercantile buying new clothes for the evening. He wanted to look nice for his last visit to the Ponderosa. Dark gray pants with a light gray corduroy coat and a white shirt with string tie. A new hat was in order too. It was crazy to be spending this money, but he wanted to look good. Now he needed a present for Jamie. He looked through the store but didn't see anything that suited the young man with his flaming red hair. Of course, Jamie had everything that money could buy, but surely there was something different. Joe wandered around the town when he found himself in Chinatown. People were scurrying around getting their work done...that is when Joe saw Hop Sing enter into a store ahead of him. Following him Joe entered the dark interior, it was a general store that sold mainly Chinese goods. Walking as quietly as possible he listened for voices. _There!_ He put his ear to the door, the Chinese words flowing over him. "Hop Sing...I told you this would not work out...but you had to try. Not right to involve yourself in white man affairs. They all crazy."

"That's not fair. I did what I had to do, you know that. Should I let Joe Cartwright die when he was a baby? That would not be right."

"Look, now, you will be killed along with Joe Cartwright. Joe will find out the truth or not, but the killer will kill all of you." Joe's mind was reeling.' _Joe Cartwright? He was a Cartwright?' _

Joe opened the door to find two very surprised Chinese men looking at him. Hop Sing hissed in fear...

ccccccc

Joe rode onto the Ponderosa that evening with a totally different feeling. _He was a Cartwright_. He was born and bred on this property. The land, trees, and lake all felt a part of him. He was ecstatic even though he might never claim them. _Ben Cartwright was his father_. That alone made everything in the world worth while. That such a man could be his Pa. Joe bit his lip...he had to contain his joy...no tears tonight.

Joe dismounted giving the reins of his horse to George who would put it away for him. The ranch hands had accepted him as a friend of the Cartwright's. Joe walked over to the gift table setting Jamie's gift on the table that was crowded with presents. The barn dance had already started and the music was lively tonight. The trestle tables were loaded with food for the crowds of people. In a way it was ironic that it was tonight. It was All Hallows Eve...Joe's birthday. The party had fallen on his birthday, Ben using it because it was a Saturday night. Everything was perfect. Maybe he would be able to tell his family the good news if things worked out.

"Joe!" Ben hugged Joe to him but was surprised when Joe hugged him back hard. "Is everything all right, Joe?"

"Yes..." Joe barely got the words out, his father was holding him in his arms. "I...I'm sorry I'm late."

"It's all right...Jamie hasn't cut the cake yet." Joe nodded his head but tried to act more casual.

"I will just see what is going on." Joe hurried away from his Pa_...yes his Pa_. The party was in full swing everyone laughing and talking. Joe saw Hop Sing running to fill up the plates of food. A large side of beef was roasting on the spit. The house was decked out with jack o' lanterns.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, toast with me tonight in honor of my son, Jamie Lee Cartwright." The men an women lifted their glasses in a toast as Jamie smiled with a huge grin on his face. The cake was brought to the table with 18 candles on top shaped as a horseshoe.

"Thank you!" Jamie blew out the candles to laughter and clapping. The presents were brought to the table as Jamie started opening them one at a time. The ooh's an ah's were heard everywhere. Jamie's heart flowed with pride and happiness.

"Son, this is our present tonight." A beautiful palomino was brought forth and Jamie fell in love with it. A new saddle from Adam and new bridles and saddlebags from Hoss rounded out the gifts.

"Ladies and gentlemen. We have a second toast tonight." Glasses were refilled then Ben said quietly, "To Joe Smith...the man that saved my life and my son's." Ben drank deeply smiling into Joe's face. "Tonight is Joe's birthday. Joe come here, son." Joe as if in a dream walked toward his father...Ben pulled a cloth away from a beautiful hand carved saddle. "Happy Birthday, Joseph." Joe ran his hand over the smooth saddle that would look perfect on Cochise. A tear slid down his cheek but he tried to wipe it away.

"Thank you." The crowd again clapped but looked at each other not exactly understanding the moment. Everyone knew the Cartwright's were famous for their generously.

Jamie bit his lip, he had not known about Joe's surprise gift but he put a good face on it. "Happy Birthday, Joe Smith." Joe was so astounded he couldn't answer anyone. His first birthday on the night he learned he was a Cartwright. It was almost too much happiness. The crowd broke apart going back to dancing and eating as Joe stood absolutely still.

"Joe, I hope you like it." Ben said softly to the young man.

"Yes...it's so much."

"Not too much for you." Hoss was beaming with pride for his friend. Adam was watching Jamie and Hop Sing wiped the tears from his eyes. The night went on forever but people finally started leaving about midnight. Many riding home on hay rides, they would be late into Virginia City. Soon, only the family and close friends remained.

"Well, Ben this was a great party." The sheriff and the doctor stood together talking quietly. Ben nodded his head...it had been perfect.

"Thank you. I'm so glad both of you could come tonight."

"Mr. Cartwright, we need to speak." Hop Sing was dressed almost ceremoniously compared to his everyday clothes. "Please come to the house."

Ben frowned but shrugged his shoulders. As he entered the great room he noticed his family were sitting in chairs with Joe Smith standing by the fireplace. The doctor and sheriff entered the room wondering if they should stay or not. "Please sit everyone." Joe said to his friends.

"What is this about Hop Sing?" Ben's voice wavered.

Joe cleared his throat, fear like he had never known settled into the pit of his stomach.

"Today I learned the most important reason for living. " Ben leaned forward smiling thinking Joe was talking about the party. "_My name is Joe Cartwright_." Gasps ran around the room...everyone froze as if time stood still.

"What are you talking about? Joe, son, I wish you were a Cartwright, but your name is still Smith." Ben couldn't quite understand what was going on. The doctor and sheriff had risen to their feet.

Hop Sing found the courage to walk toward Joe then bowed before him. "It's true. Joe Cartwright stands in this room tonight." A strange silence entered the room with a dangerous edge. Hop Sing turned to Ben Cartwright. "Many years ago, Marie Cartwright was going to give birth to son." Everyone glanced toward Jamie who sat frozen, somehow afraid to move. "Family had went on trail drive and Marie Cartwright went into labor early."

"That's right. I was so thankful when we arrived home and their was a new baby to celebrate." Ben smiled at Jamie. Adam began to fill uneasy noticing that the door had been closed and locked. _How had that happened? _

"Yes, Mr. Cartwright, your son had been born. A beautiful green eyed boy with curly brown hair."

Ben jumped out his chair, "What are you talking about?" Ben's heart was racing so fast and loud that it was all that he could hear. "Jamie has red hair and blue eyes!"

"Sit down!" The command came from Roy Coffee. A gun rested in his hand and it was pointed toward Joe. "You just couldn't leave it alone, could you?" Roy spoke sharply to Hop Sing. "I knew I should have killed that kid." Hop Sing raised his head with hatred in his eyes.

"What is this about!" Ben couldn't believe that his best friend Roy Coffee the Sheriff of Virginia City was holding a gun on him. "This is madness."

"Shut up and sit down. It's a long story. " Roy waited while everyone reseated themselves. "I will kill anyone that moves." wiping his palm on his pants he spoke quietly. "It all started so innocently. I didn't mean to kill those guards carrying that money on the stage. They tried to shoot me and I fired back. You have to believe that." Roy walked to the front of the room by the fireplace his gun held out in front of him. "I had no idea that Marie was on that stage. Just bad timing, but she recognized me. I took her prisoner that night keeping her in a room. I didn't know what to do, you were my best friend Ben but I needed the money! My wife Mary was really sick, you remember that? She was also pregnant but she was not going to make it unless I could get her to San Francisco and the doctors there." Roy's voice carried a touch of madness.

"My God, Roy, Marie was eight months pregnant. She would have never told the law." It was too late ...all too late.

"Yes, she would. Or worse, she would have told you. She went into labor and I had to have help so I got Hop Sing to deliver the baby." Roy motioned to Joe. "He was born that night, a perfect boy, another perfect son for Ben Cartwright." Roy eyes glazed as he remembered seeing Joe for the first time. "I kept Marie and Joe hostage to guarantee that Hop Sing did nothing against me. I hurried home to Mary but she had went into labor too, there was no one there but me! I delivered my son but Mary died! I'm sure you remember the funeral, the worst day of my life." The tears streamed down Roy's face at the memory of losing his beloved wife. Mary with her sweet face, her gleaming red hair and blue eyes that you could lose yourself in. He wanted only the best for her.

Ben, Adam and Hoss sat quietly trying to imagine the night Joe had been born, they had never realized all that Marie had been through while they were gone. "But, Marie never said anything." Adam couldn't help speaking up. His young beautiful step mother cradling Jamie in her arms.

"I told her I would kill all of you." Roy picked up a glass of whiskey that was sitting on the mantle. "She begged for Joe's life...she would have done anything to save him. I always liked Marie and that is when I realized that my child would die without a mother. A mother that had just had a baby, that could feed him." Roy eyes were looking into the past...

Ben Cartwright was in shock, he could imagine the look of determination that Marie's face must have worn, she was always so strong. "What happened then?" The words whispered into the room.

"We exchanged babies. I didn't kill Joe and she took Jamie to raise." Roy glanced over to his son but couldn't stand the look of utter loathing in Jamie's eyes. "I kept my promise. Hop Sing took the baby with him and gave it away." All eyes in the room turned to look at Hop Sing.

"I took Joe to my cousins in San Francisco. I told Roy I give him away but he stayed safe in my family for ten years." Joe's eyes glistened with tears for the woman he had never known. "Marie kept her word. She never hinted that Jamie was not her baby. She knew that Joe was safe with me."

Roy took up the tale, "Then Marie unexpectedly died. I couldn't believe it. But, by then Jamie was a part of the Cartwright's forever. His hold on you was complete. You loved him. " Roy said with a smile. "I still was worried though, so I spoke to Hop Sing letting him know I knew where Joe really was all the time."

Hop Sing again interrupted the story. " On Joe's tenth birthday there was an accident and he had a concussion so I had to take him to the hospital. But, he didn't remember me. I didn't know what to do! I couldn't claim a white child as my son so I let him go to orphanage. I'm sorry Joe."

"I understand." Joe whispered softly.

Roy swallowed. "It was all so complicated. But, I thought it had worked out until Joe came home. I had to get rid of him, you have to see that?" Roy said in a matter of fact voice, he had lost all touch with reality. "So, I tried to kill him several times, but the last time he was with my son. I had to be more careful." The Cartwright's realized that every time Joe had been attacked they had been talking to Roy.

"But, why didn't Marie tell me later? She could have at any time!" Ben almost shouted the words.

"It was too late...she had grown to love Jamie as a son, she knew her son was safe with Hop Sing, and I still promised to kill her and Jamie if she spoke a word. I'm sorry but I had no choice. And would you have believed Marie? Not at first...you would have insisted on speaking to me, where I would have killed you." Roy swallowed another mouthful of liquor. "Women are easy to control if you use the right leverage."

The doctor spoke for the first time. 'Not completely cowed, Roy. She left several letters for me to deliver on Jamie' eighteenth birthday." Paul pulled the envelopes out of his pocket." I was only to deliver this one if a young man with green eyes had arrived in Virginia City." The doctor handed the letters down to Ben, then Jamie then Joe. "One for each of you."

Ben held Marie's letter in his hand, his darling had been so brave. Joe eyes simmered in tears to have a letter from his Mother, but Jamie crumpled the note in his hand.

"What happens now. Are you going to kill all of us?" Adam asked the man he had admired all of his life. _How had they all come to this point?_ Then his gazed rested on his new brother, the child that looked like Marie Cartwright. _This man was his brother in blood. _

"No...there is no need for that. Ben is going to wire money to an account for me. As soon as that is done, I will disappear from here." Roy motioned for Paul to come forward. "Put them to sleep . All of them except Ben." The doctor went from man to man until he reached Jaime. "What about Jamie?"

Roy looked at his son, it had been wonderful watching him grow strong and happy all these years. "Asleep." Finally only Hop Sing, the doctor, Ben and Roy remained awake. "Shall we all go to Virginia City?" Roy walked behind the men, "If you say anything to anyone I will kill them." Ben understood why Marie had kept her word..._Roy Coffee was insane_.

They rode into Virginia City in the early morning hours going straight to the jail. Roy put them in cells so they wouldn't be able to escape. "At nine, Ben and I will go to the bank and wire the money. I will of course, bring Ben back and put him in a cell. I'm sure that someone will be by the jail eventually to release you."

Ben wanted to yell to the high heaven's but a gun was sticking in his back. The money was transferred immediately, and they returned to the jail, where he was locked away. "You'll never get away with this, Roy, It it takes the rest of my life I will find you." Roy laughed.

"I know that's a threat...but I have planned for this escape. All these years watching my son, gain the wealth of the Ponderosa, it was all worth it. I know you so well, Ben Cartwright. You'll never blame Jamie for any of this. He'll be your heir forever. " A few minutes later, Roy shut the door to the jail.

"Hiram! Good morning to ya." Roy said congenially.

"Hello Sheriff. You goin' on a trip?" Hiram motioned to the suitcase in Roy's hand.

"Yes...out of town on business. I've locked up the jail but later Ben Cartwright will be in town to take over."

"Okay, you have a good time." Hiram walked away giving a sweet smile to Roy, the best Sheriff in Nevada.

Roy walked away with a quick step he was going to start a new life. He would miss Ben they had been friends for so many years. It was a shame but it couldn't be helped.

****

Joe came slowly awake...the room was humming with voices but they were tied with ropes and had to wait until a ranch hand came to check on the family. They rushed to Virginia by late afternoon finding the men in jail. "At least Roy didn't shoot anyone." Adam said sarcastically. Ben's only thought was for Little Joe, the son he had never known he had. "Joe, my son." Ben pulled his son into arms, _he felt so perfect, so right. My God, no wonder he had felt the pull of this young man. His son_...

Jamie standing off to the side felt like a dagger had been driven through his heart. He edged away going outside..._he couldn't live with this shame...his father...his real father was insane...his family would now hate him forever. _Jamie got on his horse...undecided on what to do then a memory lodged in his conscious..._Eagle's Nest._

Joe reveled in his father's arms then he felt Hoss swinging' him around in the air, laughing on what a puny kid he was going to be in the family. Adam shook his hand saying it was always good to have another brother. They turned to include Jamie but he was gone. "Where's Jamie?" Ben looked for his son, but couldn't find him. "He has to be here, look for him boys." They raced outside to find Jamie's horse gone. "We have to find him !"

"That poor kid, he'll think this is all his fault." Hoss said sadly. Looking on the ground he noticed that he could pick out Jamie's horse's shoes. "We can track him." They mounted their horses riding quickly out of town. Joe rode Cochise but his mind was on his family...he had a father and three brothers! "Halt!" They reined in the horses at the bottom of Eagle's Nest. "I'll get him." Ben rushed up the cliff face with Joe right behind him. "Jamie! Jamie! Stop! " Jamie was rushing to the top to leap over the ledge.

Joe looked down to see the ground rise to meet him...he was so dizzy he wasn't sure if he could go on. He heard this father's voice roughened in fear so he pushed ahead to see Jamie at the top of cliff, he was going to jump! "No!"

"Pa, don't you see, I have to die! My father did all these horrible things to you. I can't be your son any longer!" Jamie pointed to Joe, "He's your son, your real son!" Jamie stepped closer to the edge. His life was ruined_...Roy Coffee had always been a good friend to him, but a father?_

"Jamie! We love you, I love you, you will always be my son! " Ben's heart felt his son's pain...___but this child of Mary and Roy Coffee was his son! _

"NO!" Joe ran to the edge grabbing Jamie by his arm, but a wave of dizziness washed over him, he fell taking Jamie with him.

"MY GOD !" Ben rushed forward diving for the edge pushing his arms over the side, grabbing both of his sons. "Hang on!"

"Pa...save me!" Jamie yelled in fear...he didn't really didn't want to die.

"Pa...let me go...save Jamie!" Joe yelled at his father. "Let me go!" Ben tears washed his face what was he going to do? His hands were quickly getting slick with sweat. He couldn't hold on any longer! One of his sons was going to die...he couldn't hold both of them...

_The split second before Ben let his son's hand go, his mind raced with memories. Jamie, the most adorable little boy ever born. He was so cute with his red hair, blue eyes, and he was as smart as a whip. The little mishaps of falling out of the loft, breaking his arm, collecting egg nests with Hoss, his trying to learn the alphabet backwards because Adam had challenged him, his first crush on a little girl with long red braids just like his hair, riding a horse, the absolute terror he felt the first time Jamie rode a bronc and was tossed over the horse's head. The quick smiles and laughter...holding a little boy in his arms, who was snuggled close to get warm. All the wonderful memories a father holds in his heart..._

Joe, who had just come into his life. A good looking daredevil sort of son that had a wicked sense of humor, that could ride a bronc to a standstill, that had so much courage that he would give his life for a brother he had just found. A child with green eyes like his Mother who lit up a room, or with a husky voice spoke of an Indian boy he had helped save.

All these memories ran through Ben's mind in that split second of indecision. Which child to give up? Which child would be gone forever? The pain of holding the boys by his hand...he had to let go. Which child would die? The decision made...he closed his eyes in pain and let one child go!

**Three days later:**

"Ben are you all right?" The words were said with comfort in mind but Ben wasn't sure what he was now feeling. Three days had passed since his world had turned upside down, he wished that it was all over.

"Yes, I was thinking how Jamie use to love playing marbles."

The doctor spoke gently. "Look, why don't you lie down for a while. It will be time to leave for the church soon."

"I would never be able to rest. I have to see this to the end." Ben stood then walked to his wardrobe pulling out his gray suit coat. Jamie had always loved this suit, with the silver vest. Of course, Joe had never had time to tell him what he liked.

"All right, I'll check on the boys and see if they're ready."

"Thank you, Paul." The doctor shut the door while Ben straightened his string tie. The church would be filled this afternoon with guests. He wanted to look presentable during the funeral. He heard the carriage being brought around to the front door so he hurried to make his way downstairs.

"Boys, let's go." Adam and Hoss looked at each other wondering if this was too much for their father. A light step drew their attention to the staircase as their brother made his way downstairs.

"Sorry, I'm late Pa."

"You're not late." Ben hugged his son to him. "We have to go." The four Cartwright's climbed into the carriage for the longest trip of their lives.

The church was filled to overflowing, it was standing room only in the back. The organ was playing a hymn and the alter was filled with flowers. Ben and his sons sat down in the first pew with Paul Martin by their side. Hop Sing stood near the door to the back room, unable to join the family, he was too upset to sit in public.

The minister walked to the pulpit, cleared his throat. "Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for coming today to give the Cartwright's comfort in their time of need." The music again started playing as two men wheeled the casket down the aisle, placing it in front of the alter. The lid was lifted to show the young man laying quietly at peace.

"It breaks our hearts that this happened to such a wonderful person."

The choir started singing "Amazing Grace" as everyone in the room cried in their handkerchiefs. Adam and Hoss eyes simmered with tears, Hoss unable to keep them in check. Adam looked up, then down, unable to stop thinking about the day this happened. _Who would have ever suspected Roy Coffee of murder? This should have never have happened. He would never forget his father climbing up Eagles Nest to try to rescue Jamie from jumping to his death...then Joe had taken off after them. After that it was all such a muddle, his brothers falling over the edge an his father rushing toward them. He had taken off running and climbing but he was not fast enough to help. _

"Dearly Beloved we are here today to bury this young man. I want all of you to take a moment to remember his life as a young force for good."

A man walking down the aisle was drawing everyone's attention. Adam and Hoss turned to look and they gasped aloud. "Pa, it's Roy Coffee." Ben turned his head as Roy walked past him to the coffin in the front. Roy looked inside seeing his son was dressed in a new suit of clothes. He bent over to kiss the smooth white brow. Ben stood, "Roy I don't think you should be here."

Roy turned at the voice. "You killed my son. Your son. You chose the wrong child to save." The tears coursed down his face as the pain raced through his voice. Joe bit his lip...he couldn't stand watching this raw pain of a father. Roy might be a villain but he loved his son, Jamie.

"Roy, you caused untold hurt with your actions.' To the side of the alter Sheriff Clem stood with a gun aimed at his best friend in the world, Roy Coffee.

"I'm going to kill you Ben Cartwright. I put my faith in you that you would never blame Jamie for my transgressions." Roy pulled his gun from the pocket of his coat. "Or maybe I should shoot young Joe, instead." The words were laced with pain as Roy took aim to fire." A frozen tabloid for a second had the parishioners screaming in horror as they ran for the exit! A cool white hand had risen from the coffin to grab Roy's hand, shaking his aim away from Joe Cartwright. Roy gasped as his son rose to sit up in the coffin!

"Roy, don't kill anyone else, please, " his son whispered to him, the blue eyes clouded with pain.

A scream rent Roy's throat as he felt a giant pain fill his heart, he raised his hand grabbing his chest, as he fell with a massive heart attack. Jamie sat as if turned to stone in the flower filled casket raising sad eyes to his father, Ben Cartwright. Ben rushed to his son, pulling him to his chest as he sobbed for his son. "Jamie, I love you, I'm sorry this had to happen."

"I know." Ben helped Jamie out of the casket as the men surrounded Roy's lifeless body. "Paul?"

"He's dead."

It was finally over, Roy Coffee was meeting his maker having to explain his part in the deaths of many people. Maybe he would be seeing his wife Mary again. Ben never doubted his love for her.

It took almost a week for the town to settle down. The funeral had been planned to catch the late Sheriff Coffee. No one had thought he would have died of a heart attack.

Around the fireplace that night, Ben and his sons sat quietly. Adam had a book in hand sitting in the blue chair. Hoss and Joe were playing a game of checkers. Jamie was sitting quietly looking at the fire. 'I wish that I could disappear. It will be years before the people around here stop talking about my ...Roy."

Adam looked at his father than spoke softly, "Jamie, I think you and I will head East for a while. You are through with school here but I think you would do well in college. We could leave this week."

Jamie nodded his head, it would be better to go away. "Is that all right with you, Pa?" Jamie asked Ben.

Ben nodded his head. "You'll do well at school and Adam can show you how to make the most of it." Ben couldn't help adding, "I'll miss you, Jamie." Jamie ducked his head but he was listening with hope. "Mother's letter, may I have it to read now?"

Ben handed the letter to his son, watching the young man taking it upstairs to be read alone. "Joe, would you like your letter too?"

"Yes, thank you." Joe rode away from the house out toward his mother's grave, taking the letter to be read privately.

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"I have already read mine. Marie said that she loved both boys, and to forgive her for her lie. She felt it had been the right thing to do." The three men sat looking into the roaring flames of the fire thinking of Marie Cartwright. Ben would keep the rest of the letter secret...it was Marie's last wish.

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Jamie read his letter slowly, laughing a little at his mother's words. She had always the knack to make him smile. Begging forgiveness she said they she was happy that Jamie was a son to be proud of." Jamie laid down on the bed holding the letter in his hand...

****

Joe sat by his mother's grave a long time before opening his letter. Taking a match he struck it to help him read.

_Dear Little Joe,_

Your father and I was looking forward to your birth. None of it worked out as planned but once I looked upon your dear little face I fell madly in love with you. You were a beautiful baby any Mother would have been proud. I felt it was in my power to save you to give you away. I hope you can understand the fear I felt in my heart...please forgive me, Little Joe.

I hope you will stay on the Ponderosa with your father and brothers. I'm hoping that everything has worked out and your father has taken care of the situation to keep you safe. I know that you will fit into the family perfectly and I want you to know how much I love you.

Please accept this gift of my locket with my picture inside. I love you, Cherie, please accept your gift of life with love.

Mama

Joe sat for a long time...trying to let the anger dissolve from him. His birthright had been taken from him but now that it was restored he felt he should be man enough to understand how helpless his Mother had probably felt during the ordeal. Digging a small hole in the dirt of her grave, he placed the letter inside, then covered it over. Kissing the locket he placed it in his inside jacket pocket to be treasured.

_He had been hanging by a thread from the cliff until his father pulled him to safety. He knew his father's strength was at an end, he expected to die, but he felt his father's hand like a vise close around his hand and he knew that he could help save them. As Jamie fell he had grabbed Jamie's jacket hanging on for dear life, this let his father use two hands to draw both sons upward to the top of the cliff. By his father putting all his faith into him they had all been saved. Ben had only time to murmur Jamie's name to Joe, but it was enough time for Joe to understand. _

His name was Joseph Francis Cartwright. The son of Ben and Marie Cartwright of the Ponderosa Ranch. The Ponderosa was his heritage forever.

Finis

Thank you so much for reading my story, I hope you enjoyed it.

Kaci


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